Grizzly Weinstein (sea_gaagii) wrote,
Grizzly Weinstein

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A new wrench in an old theory

Have you ever had one of those dreams where you really had to go to the bathroom, but couldn't find a toilet? Every once in a while I have one of these dreams; I need to go but can't find a toilet. Sometimes I will find a toilet but there will be no door and crowds of people passing by so I can't use it. Other times I will get to the stall and there will be no toilet there. All sorts of obstacles will be thrown in my way to prevent me from going to the bathroom. My theory is: I need to go to the bathroom so my brain adds this to my dream, but my brain also realizes I can't just go in bed and throws obstacles in my way to prevent me from actually going. It is as if there is some sort of inner battle between opposing sides of my subconscious; a dream split personality.

That was my theory up until the other night. I had a dream I really had to go to the bathroom, and as per the routine when I got to the bathroom there was no toilet. Then trouble, someone handed me a bedspread and told me to pee on it, it would absorb all the urine. Seemed reasonable and proper at the time (I hate the way dream state can change your judgment), so I peed on the blanket. Later I again dreamed I needed to go, this time I just went into the bedroom of the place I was at (which wasn't anywhere I am familiar with) and peed on the bedspread. This time it didn't seem proper and I was embarrassed by what I had done.

I woke up shortly after and thought, "Oh shit"! Obviously I must have peed the bed, most likely on my bedspread. My subconscious that was responsible for preventing this had finally been outsmarted by the part that wanted me to go. Perhaps a worse event had unfolded, a third player. A new section of my subconscious that had decided to team up with the one that wanted me to wet the bed. To my great surprise I had not peed the bed; no dampness, no smell, and I still had to go to the bathroom.

This has been occupying my mind for a few days. It might seem a simple case: I was wrong, and these dreams are not indicative of having to pee, not some inner battle between various parts of my subconscious vying for dominance over my urinary functions. Perhaps the dreams are simply in reference to normal life frustrations; wanting to fulfill basic needs where the world keeps throwing obstacles in ones way and, as I finally realized, the solution is to think outside the box.

However I must switch to that silly idiom which misunderstands Occam's Razor, The simpler solution is often the correct one, paraphrased by me, taking into account that mostly Christians often use this to "prove" the existence of God: "Since there is a God, who is all powerful and works in mysterious ways, therefore he can do anything and we cannot predict what he will do, we must use God as the simplest solution to every problem". Therefore God gives me these dreams to tell me how to get into Heaven and Satan intervenes trying to get me to fail.

So when I get to the gates of Heaven and St. Peter is deciding weather I should be let in, I will pee on the front rug.
Tags: bodily functions, theories

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