Grizzly Weinstein (sea_gaagii) wrote,
Grizzly Weinstein

  • Mood:
  • Music:

Birds and me

I woke up with the feeling that someone was watching me. I turned towards the large windows that looked out across Lake Union and there was a blue heron, just standing on the roof of the barge, looking right in the window at me sleeping in the loft. I lay there watching him stare at me until he flew away.

Thunk, thunk, thunk. I looked at the window where the sound was coming from and saw a small gold colored finch, hovering out there. It pecked once more at the window and flew off. I then heard a similar sound coming from my brother's room. I got up and walked over to his room. He didn't know what the noise was. I pointed to one of the windows where the finch was sitting. We didn't have built in screens, but we had screen inserts that you could place under the outer storm windows if they were half open. My brother's was more than half open and the finch was sitting on top of the screen insert looking at us. The inner window was closed and it would peck on it once in a while. It eventually flew away and we didn't see it again.
When I told this story to my stepsister she said, "That was my mother, checking up on Debbie and me". Her mother had died some years before. Those two bedrooms were Susan and her sister Debbie's when they all lived there.

About a year later there was a hawk sitting at the top of the driveway. I pulled up to it slowly; I was trying to get out and to work in the pizza place. It didn't move out of the way. I stopped and hit the horn; no response. I flashed the headlights; it turned its head away from the light. I got out of the car and ran at it; it didn't make a move until I was very close and very nervous; I hadn't realized how big the thing actually was. Finally it spread its wings and flew away.

One summer in my college years, I had this very vivid dream. I was out in the fields down the road and a bird with a broken wing flew in to my hands. I held it close to my chest and it healed. I held it out and it flew away. Later more birds came, they were all sick or broken in some way and I healed them all. I did this all summer. Towards the end of the summer after healing many birds I was visited by a large gathering of birds that I had healed and some I had not. They told me I was dying and that for the gifts that I had given they would be able to help me. They knew of a way to turn me in to a bird and therefore escape a human death. I agreed all the birds flew to me and covered every inch. When they flew away I was a small brown thrush.

When I was a small child I used to randomly and rarely have hallucinations. One of the recurring ones would be that I was being followed by a crow. I would see it out of the corner of my eye; it was always inside and usually in the hallway of my house. It would walk slowly after me it body titling in opposition to the movement of each leg. When I saw it, I would turn around very surprised and it would be gone. This happened maybe 20 times my entire life; the last time was when I was in college in the hallway of the dorm I was living in.

Gaagii is Navajo for crow. I am not shamanistic, but I do feel the crow is my spirit guide. I still have not figured out what it might have been trying to tell me, the only thing I know was when it would sneak up on me, it scared me and made me worry.

I sometimes reflect on my bird experiences and think about the various things they are supposed to represent: Spirits, Angels, Gods, and Demons. It is interesting how using the different representations translates in to a different meaning for each experience.

  • My new friend

    Meet my new friend, agnes_bray courtesy of who_is_she. I intend to transcribe her entire 1932 journal. I have some other…

  • Racist or just Stupid?

    The internets have been having fun with a recent opinion post from Byron York. Of particular ridicule is this portion: ... and his sky-high ratings…

  • Had a thought today

    I should copyright my DNA. Then if I were ever sued for paternity, I could counter-sue for copyright violations for the derivative work!

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.