Grizzly Weinstein (sea_gaagii) wrote,
Grizzly Weinstein
sea_gaagii

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Burnout?

I made a commitment with myself about a week or so ago to start getting things done. Partly to accomplish important things that are piling up and partly to prove that I could. I was doing great, I even started getting up early and getting to work via bus by 8:30 this week.
One of the things I wanted to get accomplished yesterday was paying my car tabs (well before they were due). When I was just outside the dock gate I realized I had forgotten my tabs. This is where I usually fail, not that I forget things; but that when I remember them I do not act. It literally would take 30 seconds for me to go back in and get the tab renewal information. At first I decided not to bother, this is usually how it happens. On a good day I fight with myself a little bit about how easy it is to just go back and get it. Yesterday, after telling myself to blow it off, I said, "this is not how I get things done, is there something else I wanted to do of equal importance instead? No? Go back inside". So I went it in got it. Strange that after I had the renewal notice, it seemed like a big victory, something so small. But it felt good. It felt really good when I paid it at work (online, very easy).
Today I brought my long distance bill. Today I think I suffered burn out. I overslept by a few hours. I got nothing whatsoever accomplished today, neither personal life or work. I feel very tired and have a head-ache, maybe I am egitimately sick; but I think I might have just burned out a little bit.
It is too bad Autumn is my season, it feels so full of energy. All the wind blowing things around and the air thinner and easier to breathe. I thought I could use it and the normal Autumn energy I always feel to recharge. Maybe I still can; 2 steps forward, 1 step back.

Off to Flamenco lessons.
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